Al was ready to look for his birth parents. Even though he had a great life, there was still a piece missing -- so he sought help from the Adoption Archives Unit so we could search for his birth parents. The search was very emotional for him. When we located his birth mother, Ann, she recounted the story of her unfortunate, brief affair with a young man while they both were married. Though her husband offered to raise the child, she felt it would be best for her son if she placed him for adoption because she was getting ready to divorce her husband. It was a difficult decision, but she knew it was in her son's best interest. Ann later married the love of her life; unfortunately, he passed away shortly after.
When we initially contacted Ann, she was reluctant to meet her birth son, as she feared he would be angry with her for placing him. We assured her that he broke down in tears of joy when he learned she had been located. Ann and Al arranged to meet, and Ann hosted a dinner for her family and Al's as they celebrated his birthday together for the first time in his life.
As we were closing the case, Al mentioned his sister, Peggy, who was also adopted, wanted to search for her birth parents and was trying to save enough money to do so. Some time later, Ann called to offer her assistance -- she wanted to pay for Al's sister to locate her birth parents. Ann realized how much finding his birth mother had meant to Al, and she wanted his sister to experience the same joy, even though she didn't know Peggy. Ann's generosity has not yet stopped. She has expressed an interest in sponsoring others so they, too, can locate their relatives.
"When I was 17 years old, I 'accidentally' got pregnant. There was no way I could have raised a child at that time, so I placed him through CHS for adoption. After wondering about him and loving him quietly in my heart for 35 years, my husband and I decided to search for him. CHS has a search service through their Adoption Archives Unit. Once a counselor started looking through the records, it took only a short time to find my birth son. His adoptive parents still live in the same house they did when they adopted him. Within a month we were reunited. We are very different in our religious and political beliefs, but our personalities are so similar, we grew to like each other instantly."
"CHS was very discreet and professional in their handling of the whole process. Finding my birth son has healed my heart and soul beyond words. I highly recommend finding your birth child or parent. Life is too short and precious not to do so."
Meet Carolyn-
Carolyn was left on a doorstep in Daytona Beach on Christmas Day, 1929. She was subsequently placed for adoption on May 13, 1930. Over the years, she searched for her birthmother, realizing that the task was very daunting, in that Carolyn was abandoned and information left in the big market basket in which she was found left very few clues. While she never found out anything about her birthparents, she recently shared a very touching poem about her adoptive parents. We are sure she speaks for many adoptees whose adoptive parents have such a profound effect on their lives.
My Parents
They took me for their very own
When I was just a babe unknown
Although forty-odd years of their life had passed.
They undertook this responsibility
And fulfilled to their very last.
They fed and clothed me and gave me a home
Never let me feel alone.
They loved, cuddled and protected me,
Very lenient at times and strict when need be.
They taught me values not written in books.
These values from their hearts they took.
I know at times I hurt and disappointed them.
Yet, their loved sustained me to their end.
Few daughters have been so
Blessed as me,
To have had such good people
Choose my parents to be.
I pray they both will always know
How very much I loved them also.
Carolyn
1975
Poem from Mary Ellwn, birth mother:
My Son
The letter came from the adoption agency
Saying, your son wants to hear your voice
He said his heart had a hole in it too
Because no one had given him a choice.
So long ago...I gave him away
My BEST GIFT to some dear lady.
Who prayed for him, knowing that God would hear
And give her the very best baby.
Not being able to tell anyone,
How I sorrowed with empty arms.
My family had made it clear to me
That I had done everyone harm.
Oh, how I wanted to hear of him;
I wondered how he was doing.
When he cried, did they dry his tears
So that he never felt alone?
The years drifted by, without ever a word,
So my heart wrote him off for good.
"Not to be," said the Lord, whose mercy endures,
"I've not written him off, and never would."
This child is making my heart to sing.
The heart I so carefully veiled.
He said it is time to love again
Through the letter I got in the mail.
It was for self-preservation
I had tightly veiled my heart.
However, the veil is being removed
With a "Hi, Mom" just as a start.
How sweet to hear those words!
How softly they lay on my heart!
He has found the key to open
The heart that had been pulled apart.
The Lord watched between me and thee,
The darling my arms longed so for
He's coming to see and to bring me love.
That I missed so many years before.
